I'm not really a ranting type of person in real life. Honestly, I'm not. This is my healthy therapy space where I can write about what ticks me off about other mothers, rather than having it rolling about in my head like a boiling vat of snakes.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Mothers who ... give their kids crazy names

I'll preface this post by stating I know some people like old family names, and some like to create new traditions.  I know names don't just come out of thin air, and once upon a time every name was a new name.  I get that.  But when I read something like the below I get a bit itchy.

Why does the conventional spelling need to be messed with?  What sort of name is 'Devlynn'?  Is that a boys' or a girls' name?  I think that sometimes parents see two names they like, can't decide on either, so just decide to go with squashing them together.  And 'Dante'?  It sound a bit hell-like to me.  Imagine being Dilynn in a few years on the phone to an Indian call centre.  "No, it's Dilynn.  No, not with a Y.  No, not D-I-L-I-N!  And there's two N's!"  Not to mention Devlynn being teased for his girlish moniker.

At least some parents put some thought into their children's names.  Did this mother cuddle the child after he was born to feel 'his energy'?  Did he actually vibrate?  Because most children would have  nasty-sounding names if we all tried match them with their newborn vibrations.

Think of the future.  Would you employ a 'Raven' or 'Dante'?  Would anybody take a 'Destiny' or 'Nevaeh' seriously?  Unfortunately, first impressions count.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Mothers who ... dress like their daughters

I find this genuinely creepy.  Nothing is worse is seeing what you think is a teenage girl on the street, but then she turns around and she has a leathery, saggy face and a bottom that's begging to age gracefully and in peace.  Which one is the mother in the picture above?  Honestly, you don't need to dress like Grandma, but pretending you're hip and groovy and that you've still got it is fooling no-one.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Mothers who ... are involved in everything

These mothers are the ones who:

  • are on the parent-teacher committee
  • are the 'accompanying parent volunteer' on every excursion
  • if there is a bake sale, contribute at least four items
  • turn up to every athletics and swimming carnival
  • sit at the back of the room during dance/martial arts/etc class watching every move
  • Etc., etc. etc.
They put the rest of us to shame.  They put a capital M in Mother, as Mothering is their job.  Sometimes it extends even further into all-organic, all-cotton, all home-made delirium.  And that is fine, as long as you don't look down on the rest of us human-type-people who have other things to do and pressures to face.   Additionally, you need to see that line where your kid might prefer you to back off a bit.

Don't you need an life too?  I know I do!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Mothers who ... think they are better at mothering than their own mothers

Click to read full post
One of my pet peeves are mothers who think their own mothers - the grandparents - can't get it right.  I know some grandparents do fall into this category, such as the ones who don't visit, don't care, drink too much, swear etc. etc. etc.  I'm not talking about those.  But if they just do things differently from the parent, oh my.  Cue the complaining.  I've read and heard whines about things like:
  • Feeding the wrong foods
  • Not following the mandated (by the parent) toilet training method
  • Going on holiday when it's Preshus' birthday/Friday/the weekend/any day really when the parent wants to do something else
  • Daring to give a taste of ice-cream BEFORE SIX MONTHS OMG
  • Letting the kids stay up after the usual bedtime
  • Not putting the child to sleep with mandated method, whether it be by crying it out, cuddling to sleep, in grandparent's bed, when child says so (because don't you know, child-led everything is the new style of parenting these days)
  • Mentioning any form of religion, or not mentioning it
  • Reading the wrong books
  • Etc. etc. etc.
I would love if parents could accept that parenting was different thirty years ago.  We can't expect our parents to know automatically the 'guidelines' have changed and we shouldn't heap derision on them for that.  If your child has a grandparent who wants to be involved, realise it is a blessing and not a reason to judge.  And if you feel the need to put them right about something, do it gently .. you know, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Or in other words, try fast-forwarding twenty years when your grown-up child says to you, "Mum! Don't you know we can start solids at three months now?  Geez!  Honestly, Ayden, I don't think she should look after Tutu any more!"

Disclaimer:  I have a MIL who insists on giving my kids fruit DRINK.  As in, drink that has very little juice in it but lots and lots of sugar.  After a few rants around 'I can't believe it, doesn't she know it is JUST SUGAR?, she can pay the dentist bills yada yada yada' I saw how much she loved my kids and they loved her, and got over it.  And myself!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Mothers who .... wear clean ironed shirts

Because most often I don't. My shirts have history written all over them.

That's me!  Not really.  Her shirt is cleaner than mine.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Mothers who ... Reverse Brag

Overheard this mainly one-sided conversation:

"How's your daughter?"

"Oh, good.  Unfortunately.  She made the State swimming carnival."


"Yeah.  I wish she wasn't so good at swimming!"  [rueful laugh]


"It means I have to travel and sit on my butt all day watching her.  Also, all that early morning training!  I tell ya, it kills me having a kid who just keeps winning stuff."


And I didn't even make that up.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Mothers who ... don't check for crawlies

This irks me a lot. A LOT. As a mother who checks her kids's hair on a regular (some would say fanatic) basis, I just don't get why you would not even bother every once in a while. Some don't even care! I know, because I am acquainted with a few. That I keep my distance from. And I keep my KIDS a distance from.

What bothers me is when a note comes home from school saying 'a case of head lice has been detected, so please check your childrens' hair.'  Which I do. But then another note comes home a week later. And again! Clearly someone (or many someones) is not following through. Come on. It's not that hard. Just take a peek. If your child's hair looks like several communities of insects have moved in and are busy building skyscrapers, your child has lice. GET RID OF THEM FOR ALL OUR SAKES (especially mine, which hangs by a teeny tiny thread these days).