I'm not really a ranting type of person in real life. Honestly, I'm not. This is my healthy therapy space where I can write about what ticks me off about other mothers, rather than having it rolling about in my head like a boiling vat of snakes.

Sunday, April 22, 2012

Mothers who ... talk gibberish

All I can say is, the below post really annoys me.

This was in response to a question about discipline.  I don't know what it actually means.  Perhaps I should look for my enlightened centre?

Monday, April 9, 2012

Mothers who ... won't go anywhere without their kids

Recently I was talking to another mother about the possibility of my child going on a school trip to Europe. I should have thought first. This mother doesn't appear to have a life outside her children's. She is there for every excursion, every open day, every ...everything.

"I would never let C. go on a trip like that!" she said. "I've already spoken to him about that trip. We do those sorts of things as a family."

I was left carrying a load of guilt that I would even consider letting my child go - not that I was. I would add that this family takes a Europe trip every year, while my kids have never left the country. I'd also say that I think it would do C. an awful lot of good to experience something without his mother constantly at his shoulder.

But I guess that's just me.

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Mothers who ... let their daughters wear short shorts

... because it makes my own daughter want them.  However I refuse to buy them.  Why should I let her walk around with most of her legs, and a good part of her rear end, exposed?  She is A KID.  Not a woman by any stretch of the imagination.  Please dress kids like kids!

Saturday, March 17, 2012

Mothers who ... supervise their kids homework after the age of 10

A conversation I had with a known control-freak, helicopter, anonymous mother:

(Me) 'M has got woodwork this semester.'

(OM) 'Oh, we've got sewing.  You wouldn't think that was hard, but it is.'

'Is that right?'

'Oh, yes.  I have to run around and get the material, then measure it up for C.  The homework assignment was excruciating.  I spent forever on that.'

'You did?'

'Yeah, it took a whole weekend.  Next semester's worse though.'


'We've got metalwork!'

We've got metalwork?  I spent forever on that assignment?  Maybe I'm a bit traditional, but I let my children do their own assignments and homework.  I offer to help, and perhaps I'll scan my eye over them occasionally to make sure they're answering the correct questions and not basing an entire essay on Minecraft.  But that is the extent of it.  I felt guilty when the OM said this, then went on to explain where her kids were at with various assignments, and how overloaded they were with homework, yada yada yada.  But my guilt lasted for about a nanosecond.  I'm pleased my kids can do their own homework, at their own pace, without me breathing down their necks all the time.  That is a vital skill, and I can't help wondering what C. will do in the workplace when he gets there without such a skill.  Mother can't be there all the time ... can she?

Friday, March 9, 2012

Mothers who .... are not afraid of bragging openly

Oh, my kids love fruit and veggies too.  They eat them all day!  Give them a choice between an Easter egg and a carrot stick, they choose the carrot, every time!  In fact, it's hard to get them to eat anything else!   Can you believe it ... I've bringing up an all-organic, chicken-nugget-snubbing snob without even trying.  Go stick that in your face, other mothers!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Mothers who ... think their kids are the best, and think everyone else should, too

I sympathise with this one, I really do.  But you all know you're not right out there, because it is my kids that are the best, OK?  Don't even try to claim otherwise.

What peeves me sometimes is that parents feel that everyone else should indulge their children the same way they do.  For example:

Now, you know the sort of kid this mother is describing.  He's the one who runs around unrestrained and unnoticed (or even worse, encouraged) by his parents, staring at other people, interrupting whatever they're doing, and generally expecting to be number one with everyone in his vicinity.  But according to this mother, he just wants what he wants.  NOW!  And she doesn't want to stop him because that's when he gets pissed, and we can't be involved in discipline in a public place, can we?

Note to this mother: I like kids, but I don't want to have to have anything to do with yours unless I choose to.  I don't care if he gets pissed if I don't make funny faces at him as he so clearly wants me to do.  I am not your child's entertainer or babysitter!  Thank God.  And another note: if hell does break loose, be kind enough to remove him from my earshot.

Thank you.

Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Mothers who ... give their kids crazy names

I'll preface this post by stating I know some people like old family names, and some like to create new traditions.  I know names don't just come out of thin air, and once upon a time every name was a new name.  I get that.  But when I read something like the below I get a bit itchy.

Why does the conventional spelling need to be messed with?  What sort of name is 'Devlynn'?  Is that a boys' or a girls' name?  I think that sometimes parents see two names they like, can't decide on either, so just decide to go with squashing them together.  And 'Dante'?  It sound a bit hell-like to me.  Imagine being Dilynn in a few years on the phone to an Indian call centre.  "No, it's Dilynn.  No, not with a Y.  No, not D-I-L-I-N!  And there's two N's!"  Not to mention Devlynn being teased for his girlish moniker.

At least some parents put some thought into their children's names.  Did this mother cuddle the child after he was born to feel 'his energy'?  Did he actually vibrate?  Because most children would have  nasty-sounding names if we all tried match them with their newborn vibrations.

Think of the future.  Would you employ a 'Raven' or 'Dante'?  Would anybody take a 'Destiny' or 'Nevaeh' seriously?  Unfortunately, first impressions count.

Sunday, February 26, 2012

Mothers who ... dress like their daughters

I find this genuinely creepy.  Nothing is worse is seeing what you think is a teenage girl on the street, but then she turns around and she has a leathery, saggy face and a bottom that's begging to age gracefully and in peace.  Which one is the mother in the picture above?  Honestly, you don't need to dress like Grandma, but pretending you're hip and groovy and that you've still got it is fooling no-one.

Saturday, February 25, 2012

Mothers who ... are involved in everything

These mothers are the ones who:

  • are on the parent-teacher committee
  • are the 'accompanying parent volunteer' on every excursion
  • if there is a bake sale, contribute at least four items
  • turn up to every athletics and swimming carnival
  • sit at the back of the room during dance/martial arts/etc class watching every move
  • Etc., etc. etc.
They put the rest of us to shame.  They put a capital M in Mother, as Mothering is their job.  Sometimes it extends even further into all-organic, all-cotton, all home-made delirium.  And that is fine, as long as you don't look down on the rest of us human-type-people who have other things to do and pressures to face.   Additionally, you need to see that line where your kid might prefer you to back off a bit.

Don't you need an life too?  I know I do!

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Mothers who ... think they are better at mothering than their own mothers

Click to read full post
One of my pet peeves are mothers who think their own mothers - the grandparents - can't get it right.  I know some grandparents do fall into this category, such as the ones who don't visit, don't care, drink too much, swear etc. etc. etc.  I'm not talking about those.  But if they just do things differently from the parent, oh my.  Cue the complaining.  I've read and heard whines about things like:
  • Feeding the wrong foods
  • Not following the mandated (by the parent) toilet training method
  • Going on holiday when it's Preshus' birthday/Friday/the weekend/any day really when the parent wants to do something else
  • Daring to give a taste of ice-cream BEFORE SIX MONTHS OMG
  • Letting the kids stay up after the usual bedtime
  • Not putting the child to sleep with mandated method, whether it be by crying it out, cuddling to sleep, in grandparent's bed, when child says so (because don't you know, child-led everything is the new style of parenting these days)
  • Mentioning any form of religion, or not mentioning it
  • Reading the wrong books
  • Etc. etc. etc.
I would love if parents could accept that parenting was different thirty years ago.  We can't expect our parents to know automatically the 'guidelines' have changed and we shouldn't heap derision on them for that.  If your child has a grandparent who wants to be involved, realise it is a blessing and not a reason to judge.  And if you feel the need to put them right about something, do it gently .. you know, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Or in other words, try fast-forwarding twenty years when your grown-up child says to you, "Mum! Don't you know we can start solids at three months now?  Geez!  Honestly, Ayden, I don't think she should look after Tutu any more!"

Disclaimer:  I have a MIL who insists on giving my kids fruit DRINK.  As in, drink that has very little juice in it but lots and lots of sugar.  After a few rants around 'I can't believe it, doesn't she know it is JUST SUGAR?, she can pay the dentist bills yada yada yada' I saw how much she loved my kids and they loved her, and got over it.  And myself!

Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Mothers who .... wear clean ironed shirts

Because most often I don't. My shirts have history written all over them.

That's me!  Not really.  Her shirt is cleaner than mine.

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Mothers who ... Reverse Brag

Overheard this mainly one-sided conversation:

"How's your daughter?"

"Oh, good.  Unfortunately.  She made the State swimming carnival."


"Yeah.  I wish she wasn't so good at swimming!"  [rueful laugh]


"It means I have to travel and sit on my butt all day watching her.  Also, all that early morning training!  I tell ya, it kills me having a kid who just keeps winning stuff."


And I didn't even make that up.

Sunday, February 19, 2012

Mothers who ... don't check for crawlies

This irks me a lot. A LOT. As a mother who checks her kids's hair on a regular (some would say fanatic) basis, I just don't get why you would not even bother every once in a while. Some don't even care! I know, because I am acquainted with a few. That I keep my distance from. And I keep my KIDS a distance from.

What bothers me is when a note comes home from school saying 'a case of head lice has been detected, so please check your childrens' hair.'  Which I do. But then another note comes home a week later. And again! Clearly someone (or many someones) is not following through. Come on. It's not that hard. Just take a peek. If your child's hair looks like several communities of insects have moved in and are busy building skyscrapers, your child has lice. GET RID OF THEM FOR ALL OUR SAKES (especially mine, which hangs by a teeny tiny thread these days).