I'm not really a ranting type of person in real life. Honestly, I'm not. This is my healthy therapy space where I can write about what ticks me off about other mothers, rather than having it rolling about in my head like a boiling vat of snakes.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

Mothers who ... think they are better at mothering than their own mothers

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One of my pet peeves are mothers who think their own mothers - the grandparents - can't get it right.  I know some grandparents do fall into this category, such as the ones who don't visit, don't care, drink too much, swear etc. etc. etc.  I'm not talking about those.  But if they just do things differently from the parent, oh my.  Cue the complaining.  I've read and heard whines about things like:
  • Feeding the wrong foods
  • Not following the mandated (by the parent) toilet training method
  • Going on holiday when it's Preshus' birthday/Friday/the weekend/any day really when the parent wants to do something else
  • Daring to give a taste of ice-cream BEFORE SIX MONTHS OMG
  • Letting the kids stay up after the usual bedtime
  • Not putting the child to sleep with mandated method, whether it be by crying it out, cuddling to sleep, in grandparent's bed, when child says so (because don't you know, child-led everything is the new style of parenting these days)
  • Mentioning any form of religion, or not mentioning it
  • Reading the wrong books
  • Etc. etc. etc.
I would love if parents could accept that parenting was different thirty years ago.  We can't expect our parents to know automatically the 'guidelines' have changed and we shouldn't heap derision on them for that.  If your child has a grandparent who wants to be involved, realise it is a blessing and not a reason to judge.  And if you feel the need to put them right about something, do it gently .. you know, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  Or in other words, try fast-forwarding twenty years when your grown-up child says to you, "Mum! Don't you know we can start solids at three months now?  Geez!  Honestly, Ayden, I don't think she should look after Tutu any more!"

Disclaimer:  I have a MIL who insists on giving my kids fruit DRINK.  As in, drink that has very little juice in it but lots and lots of sugar.  After a few rants around 'I can't believe it, doesn't she know it is JUST SUGAR?, she can pay the dentist bills yada yada yada' I saw how much she loved my kids and they loved her, and got over it.  And myself!

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